Single And Ready To Mingle?

I realize that I'm in my prime dating age. I'm about to turn 21 and start hitting bars where I hear swarms of intoxicated men will be buying me drinks in hopes of lowering my innerbitions enough to make some bad decisions with them. Boy, can't wait.

However, every year I seem to grow more weary of the single life but also increasingly annoyed with the opposite sex. I remember the good old days in middle school when I told guys to go fuck themselves everytime they commented on how big my boobs were. I remain today just as rigid towards guys and their sexual advances but only because they're usually from an elderly black man, drunk frat guy, or weird mutant I just don't want talking to me. Nevertheless, I'm constantly on the prowl.

Surely it's too early for me to start worrying that I'm destined to end up a lonely, career-driven, cat-owning thirty-something but it does seem very likely. Even at my tender age, I can confidently say that I've already had some pretty lousy luck when it comes to dating or just guys in general. I fell in love when I was 16. For real. About two years later, my heart got broken, I cried for weeks, stopped eating. Not long after that, it turned into a soap opera drama that I can't even begin to discuss. Let's just say it involed some infidelity, confessions of undying love, tears, and sexual frustration. That actually sums it up pretty well.

It's now been almost 4 years and despite my better judgement, I have yet to let my first love go. But since then, my dating life has gone as followed...a month-long relationship (I got dumped), an unoffical two month-long relationship with I guy I didn't like, a week-long romance that ended with a drunken disaster, and one simple crush. Exciting huh?

So indeed it may be too early in the game to swear off guys completely but becoming a nun doesn't sound all that bad. I mean, I practically already have an invisible chasity belt. If only I didn't have to devote my life to God. Couldn't I just devote it to something else? Minus the terrible uniforms and the no booze, no sex, no cursing rule, a convent is basically a cool sorority. Perhaps I should start my own less restrictive convent where women can simply devote their lives to sisterhood, fun, and masterbation. It just sounds like a better alternative to spending your life despretly trying to be the object of some guy's affection and chasing some fairy tale that you've been creating since you were 12 years old. Plus, I'm assuming it's easier then trying to become a lesbian.

bummed :(

So, I just got back yesterday from my mini vacation at Timberline Lake Camping Resort in New Gretna, N.J with my friend Kat. I had an amazing time but now I'm back to reality and it totally sucks.

For starters, I had to say goodbye to Kat who was only here this summer and moves back to upstate New York tomorrow. I seriously don't know what I would have done this summer if I hadn't met her. We became good friends in just a few weeks. I only have a few close girl friends and none that I really talk to or see that often so it really hurts knowing that she's not going to be around all the time anymore. I'm now bored and friendless once again. There's only like 3 weeks left of summer before I start school again and I'm just hoping the time goes by as fast as possible. The only thing I have left to look forward to is finally moving into my house which apparently will still be under construction then.

It's a Friday night and I'm sitting alone in my hotel room about to cry. Boy this sucks. Maybe if I wish real hard, I'll wake up and it'll be September.